«It is a bit of a joke in our family that I use FB to ‘stalk’ my young adult children (19 -22). And my youngest and I had a great exchange the other month. He posted something (as a joke) that I found a bit offensive … so I left a little short comment along the lines of … “I do not think this appropriate …” (yes that is the ‘mother tone’ you hear). It is what happened next that really impressed me and gave me a real AHA moment.
He ‘inboxed’ me (so it was private) .. and said this was his space and I should really respect that. He said he found my comment on his comment ‘inappropriate’ not only for the tone but also for the fact that I had posted it on his site (ie all his friends could see it). He then went on to say (along the lines of ..) that while he likes me being his friend on FB and enjoys our on-line interactions .. if I can not respect / accept his space, opinions and jokes (and if I DO have a problem – then deal with it privately) .. – then he suggested either A) I ‘unfriend him’ (so you don’t have t see it Mum!) .. or B) if I do it again he will block me (LOL).
What impressed me the most .. was his choice of reply (ie private .. not ‘ridiculing me in public) and the incredibly respectful but honest and assertive way he (1) put his case forward … (2) said what he wanted from me … (3) and then gave me an alterative option .. and (4) finished off with a final possible consequence.
I sat back, had a laugh, went to his FB page and removed my comment. I then sent him a reply email thanking him for the way he handled this & acknowledged all of his points .. and thought.. I am so proud of my son.
I am sharing this story here because it is an example of the way on line interactions with our (adult) children can actually enhance our relationship .. (I think) .. But I also do acknowledge it is different with younger children and I guess parents do have more of stronger role in that situation.»
— Kathleenz, Comment on: «Facebook & helicopter parenting»
